This bag of dehydrated mushrooms (see above), which I picked up at Costco and was snacking on, the day this incident occurred.
(note: not an endorsement, just a report of how things went down.)
Ironically, shiitakes are a low sodium food (though not so much when it comes to being packed in a snackable bag!).
Also me: *chuckling to self about one of my faves – the comedic skit called ‘Substitute Teacher’.
I have to share it here. Like, I literally must (it’s THAT good and you’re welcome):